"Searching for feeling"

I have to apologize for my bi-lingua situation. I've caught between the two languages, unable to rely on either one of them to express myself. Since this is my personal blog, I decide to run free with whatever comes to my mind first. Please don't blame me for this! And I'll use a different color for words that I need your help in finding the best translation. I appreciate your suggestions:)


I don't know what exactly he means by that, 'searching for feeling'. I wonder if it is what would come to me with sad stories, the kind told in his book, shown in television, the kind that'd fill my eyes with tears. Yet why the feeling is something that we search for?

一口气看完了Anderson Cooper的书，擦干眼泪，从床上爬起来。

千万不要以为我只是因为喜欢这个人才去看他的书，我是因为他的经历，他的内心，才开始喜欢他。

这本书里有很多令人难过的故事，Anderson形容这本书是一部Memoir of Loss。他用很简单的语言讲他的过去，他的现在，his personal loss, and loss of others that he has witnessed, taped, and broadcast. 我不知道能震撼你的究竟是这些故事本身，还是他讲故事的方式。总之你会一页一页地翻下去，任凭他把你带到远方的人间地狱，带到他内心深处，那些最不为人知的矛盾和痛苦。

他的书可以作为心理学研究的案例来读。如果你想知道一个人是怎样处理亲人离世的痛苦，又或者你也有过同样的痛苦，想从另一个被悲伤孤立的灵魂中获得一点安慰，都不妨读一下。鲍曼说当代社会里，人类所能做的不过是找到一个共同的钉子，把个体的恐惧挂在上面。Dispatches from the edge 就是这样一个钉子，虽然我不确定它到底扎的有多深。

我只是每次想起Anderson的母亲是怎样眼睁睁地看着自己的另一个儿子（Anderson的哥哥）从阳台上跳下去，都难过得想哭，我没法想象她的痛苦——Gloria Vanderbilt是我最崇敬的女性，和母亲。

至于这样一个个人存在感极强的记者对新闻行业本身是否是件好事，就是后话了。不妨把Publisher Weekly 尖酸但不失准确的评语放在这，虽然我并不完全同意这里面的观点：

HarperCollins (the publisher) touts the handsome, prematurely gray host of CNN's Anderson Cooper 360°as the "prototype for a twenty-first century newsman." Sadly, that statement is all too true. This brief, self-involved narrative reaffirms a troubling cultural shift in news coverage: journalists used to cover the story; now, more than ever, they are the story. Cooper is an intrepid reporter: he's traveled to tsunami-ravaged Asia, famine-plagued Niger, war-torn Somalia and Iraq, and New Orleans post-Katrina. Here, however, the plights of the people and places he visits take a backseat to the fact that Cooper is, well, there. The Yale-educated son of heiress and designer Gloria Vanderbilt weaves personal tragedies (at 10, he lost his father to heart disease and later his older brother to suicide) awkwardly into far graver stories of suffering he's observing. Even when he plies the reader with his own unease ("the more sadness I saw, the more success I had") and obliquely decries TV news's demand for images of extreme misery ("merely sick won't warrant more than a cut-away shot"), he seems to place himself in front of his subjects. Cooper is an intelligent, passionate man and he may be a terrific journalist. But this book leaves one feeling he's little more than a television personality.
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